Name: Ellie Costanza
State: New Jersey
High School: Mount Olive High School
College: Connecticut College

Losing was one of the best things to ever happen to me. It was my junior year, and I had just been named one of my team’s captains.

Our previous season had been a struggle, with only one win and sixteen losses. The weight of those past failures hung over me as I stepped into a leadership role, and I couldn’t help but doubt whether I was the right person to turn things around.

But it was through working with my team through failure that I learned the most about myself. Failure shows you who you really are and how much you can achieve when you’re determined.

Being named captain meant I was responsible for the morale and success of the entire team. Frustrations built up after each mistake, leaving us wondering if we were good enough.

Failure was a constant, whether it was losing games or missing opportunities. The most defining moment of that season came when we made it to the conference championship game.

With just four minutes left, the game was tied, and exhaustion was setting in. In the final seconds, the other team scored, and it was over. The silence on the bus ride home was suffocating.

“Failure could be good,” one of my teachers said to me the next day. What’s good about losing something you worked so hard for?

I thought about that a lot. I realized failure is not just about the outcome, it’s about the process and the lessons we take from it. We hadn’t given up, we gave everything we had. That was our moment to shift our mindset, and I had the idea for our slogan this year to be “All In.”

When I suggested it to my team, I saw their faces shift from sadness to determination. We might have lost that game, but we had gained something more valuable, our strength, unity, and

belief in each other. We knew we would rise again. This year, we gave it all. I was elected team captain again, and our record stood at 20-3, one of the best in school history. Conference champions, a title we’d longed for, was now ours.

We embraced setbacks as opportunities for growth, and this mindset propelled us to achieve more than we ever thought possible.

Throughout this journey, I learned that failure is not a reflection of who we are, but a tool for growth.

As I prepare to attend Connecticut College, I carry this lesson with me. Whether in the classroom, on the field, or in life, I know failure will come. But I’ve learned how to embrace it, learn from it, and use it as a stepping stone to greater success.

Field hockey has shown me that true leadership isn’t about avoiding failure, it’s about how we bounce back and keep striving toward our goals. It’s this mindset that will guide me through my college journey and beyond, pushing me to always keep fighting, no matter how many times I may fall.

This post was written by Ellie Costanza. She is participating in the 2025 Dr. Judith Benscoter Female Athlete Scholarship contest. You may also vote for her video on our Instagram account @female_athlete_news

The scholarship winner will be determined by most votes (likes) on their Instagram video and the most votes cast on the candidate’s essay writing.

Voting runs from March 13-16. Winners will be announced March 17.